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Indeed, people consider cybersex to have a high degree of psychological reality—but many do not consider it to be consider it to be infidelity.

Many of them believe cybersex to be similar to pornography—an extension of fantasy that actually helps to keep them from physical affairs with other people.

One way of reducing the weight of these difficulties is to distance the online affair from offline circumstances—for example, by refraining from exchanging personal, actual details or by imposing other limitations on the online affair.

Thus, people may agree not to develop a relationship, permitting themselves only virtual one-night stands, or an uncommitted affair, or a promise with a partner to tell each other about each online affair.

In his stimulating paper, "Chatting Is Not Cheating," John Portmann defends online lust and characterizes about sex; he maintains that such talking is more similar to flirting than to having a sexual affair.

I was in a mate's office and logged on and there were three friend requests.

People, consciously or not, consider their online sexual relationships as real—they experience psychological states similar to those typically elicited by offline relationships.

Accordingly, cybersex is about sex, but a form of sexual encounter involves experiences typical of other encounters, such as sexual arousal, masturbation, orgasm, and satisfaction.

As a 29-year-old married woman who often engages in cybersex, says: When people feel trapped by their current circumstances, but still do not want to ruin their relationship, cyberspace may offer a parallel world in which things are better.

Time spent in that world can help them their actual world, while not giving up on having exciting, even emotional experiences.

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