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Inexperienced, and he has a million questions, none of which have anything to do with who you are, but “what” you are.Unless, of course, your girl a gender studies teacher, then go right on ahead. We’d just met, so I can only imagine the infinite possibilities swirling in his head.He was an amateur MMA fighter, came from the hood — apparently a former gang member, as I learned later. We’re the dirty little secrets who get calls only after hours.I found early disclosure necessary because we live in a world where trans panic is still justification for devaluing and even harming trans women.So far this year, at least 18 trans women have been killed in the U.
Well, I’ll attest to that being the reason I keep running into the same type of guy. And it’s not that these men don’t mean well, it’s just that they’re hurting their chances by remaining ignorant to a person that they’re clearly attracted to. This is an offensive slang that is used in the LGBT community, sometimes jokingly, but NEVER in civilized conversation. Many times, I’ve chatted with men in bars who were beyond sweet to me — opening doors and asking my interests — only to have the script flip when I reveal that I’m trans.I feel like I have to share my entire life story early on — a situation in dating that we’re often told to avoid at the risk of being too overwhelming.After a number of dates and situations not too unlike the interaction with the MMA fighter, I had to take a serious look at the risk involved with not disclosing my trans status.I constantly have to juggle other people’s hangups around gender, sexuality, and race simultaneously.I’m surprised at how often I encounter people — typically cisgender men — who don’t understand what transgender means, even in a world where Caitlyn Jenner and Laverne Cox make headlines.Despite the slowly turning tides, dealing with these potential partners is difficult because I often have to serve as both a therapist and a teacher. He was very much interested in me, but it took a few months for him to admit the full extent.He was pretty homophobic and transphobic when I originally met him, which he attributed to his upbringing.Because I know plenty of guys who would really do some shit to you.”“No, I’m a woman, a transgender woman,” I answered, trying to make him understand. His entire view of me had changed and there was no going back.I vowed as I left his place in the middle of the night that I would never put myself in that dangerous of a situation again.And, to be clear, I don’t need constant validation of my womanhood, but I do need respect — which J wasn't prepared to give.He made jokes about me and how I “used to be a man,” criticized my writing and activism, and even — the grand offense — used my birth name during arguments. Having to constantly define and explain myself is both exhausting and unfair.