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You might find (a) you can each do some things to make the marriage better; (b) you can learn to live and let live; or (c) it's time for you to do something else.And if he refuses to go with you, go yourself and start working on your own issues.Also, sex is not all about me he still gets his I'm just wondering why I can't enjoy it anymore. Well sapphire, don't you know that what's happening outside the bedroom usually affects what's happening inside the bedroom. Fighting usually takes the bloom off the rose of romance. EDIT: If you aren't turned on by him and aren't having orgasms that might be because you're punishing him for what you perceive to be his wrong doings. OP, you have in your profile that you are "Big & Tall/BBW." BBW = big beautiful woman. You picked him, you married him, I assume knowing that he wanted a housewife.Well, sweetie you know what you're both fighting about.......... You volunteered to stay out of the workforce by doing this, but it doesn't mean you can make new decisions now.
Not sure what bbw is but if you're implying I'm bi you are so wrong.And as for me not working it is because my husband is from old school and believes womens place is in the home, I also have a 10 years old still at home. Obviously, something is affecting your relationship that wasn't a big deal two years ago but seems to be a big deal now. Get it resolved 'cause your the "heart of the home".And I'm pretty sure he also fantatizes because he likes to watch porn with the youngs girls, and has made comments about my breast sagging. Quit your fantasizing too and focus on being more romantic with the guy you've got. In fact, it's kinda brown & patchy and in need of a whole hell of a lot of fertilizer. And blaming your husband for you not working is passing the buck, IMHO.You two have some serious problems in your marriage and I think there are problems on both sides.Run, don't walk, to a counselor and start working on some of this stuff.Sit down and draw a budget of what you need to do to change that situation. It might turn out to be the beginning of more clarity and empowering for you. You are married..you posted a question on dating site...where many of people here are changing often their partners... It is my advice..some job..yourself busy ..your husband works... "I have not went through menopause yet, but fanisize about being with someone different."OP can you explain how menopause has anything to do with fantasizing?If you get happier with your SELF, you'll bring into the home life a happier.. personification of wife."Being with someone different" (grass greener syndrome) isn't the answer right now. and my suggestion is to really work hard on it, which means beginning with your own self. Maybe you and your husband can try role playing, you lay down and let him roll you around.Get some counseling to work through your marriage, or learn how to not be dependent on him so you can move on with your own. But you do kind of have to like the guy, and try some. It's easier, cheaper and saner to fix what you have than go looking for something else. It may be posible your mate may be feeling the same as you.I have watched my parents make each others lives miserable for 46 yrs now. Life IS about choices, and fighting isn't the only choice out there. You may not have gone *through* menopause yet, but bets are you're pre-menopausal. But go with the idea that you want to fix what you have, rather than how to get out of it. Getting back into fitness seems to be more for your next lover as opposed to being for yourself and your husband.The stresses of work, the domestic growling, the children having problems at school, biorhytms, and so forth. The first time I just ended it and married someone else.If I had more sense at the time and didn't allow my hormones to lead me, I probably would have stayed with the first wife and everything would have been okay after a while. You're right I need to work on myself and see what happens.