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The mainstream media strongly discouraged men from coming forward with their own cases, with articles like I’m a man who has been sexually harassed – but I don’t think it’s right for men to join in with #Me Too.Their excuse was the usual – it’s not “structural oppression”, so it doesn’t count.I requested a geographic posting to get away from that lunatic and get an investigation underway but I was told by my WO that “these things happen for a reason”. It was pretty uncomfortable and I felt kinda vulnerable.Eight months later I was suicidal and that WO was signing my counselling and probation with her husband. In the wake of all these sexual harassment stories, I looked back on this moment and considered for the first time that that was actual sexual harassment. Don’t believe random Redditors, but do believe random bloggers?By freak coincidence I came across this story from last month where Mariah Carey’s bodyguard accused her of sexually harassing him.

Homosexual male harassment is more prevalent than the percent gay men in the population would imply, suggesting that gay men harass men more often than straight men harass women.I went up to get a drink in a crowded bar and a rather large woman ruffled my hair and said ‘I like this one’. Then for what it’s worth I’ve been sexually harassed by two women, and I see no reason to think my experience is anything other than typical.But then is it odd that so few of the recent high-profile victims of sexual harassment have been men, and so few of the high-profile perpetrators women? Everyone has made it clear from the start that they don’t want to hear about this.The obvious explanation for gender differences in harassment has always been that men constitute 80% of sexual harassers for the same reason they constitute 83% of arsonists, 81% of car thieves, and 85% of burglars.Since most men are straight, most victims are women; when the men happen to be gay, they victimize men.Men probably get victimized disproportionately often compared to the straight/gay ratio because society views harassing women as horrible but harassing men as funny.If this theory is right then it’s men who are the structural victims, which means it’s your harassment that doesn’t count and you’re the ones who shouldn’t be allowed to talk about it.Opinium, which sounds like a weird drug, reports 20% of women vs. You Gov poll in Germany finds 43% of women and 12% of men.The overall rates vary widely depending on how the pollsters frame the question, but the ratio is pretty consistent. The best I can find is this Australian study finding that 21% of harassers are women. I’m less confident on this one, but 20% seems like a conservative guess.Do any women disagree about what counts as sexual harassment?Yes, the stats show that they disagree exactly as much as the men do – but who cares?

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