Good questions when dating
And if you don’t know your values, how can you expect your partner to have a clue?
Not all values are the same and sometimes you can have two very good people with very good values, but those values can feel at war with each other.
As I wrote in “If your core values can’t dance together, then you’ll keep tripping, falling and wondering why you can’t move together in rhythm.” For example, you could have a high value for responsibility and the person you’re dating could have a high value for risk.
Both values are good, but if not articulated and discussed it could be a point of high conflict if the responsible person likes consistency and persistence, while the risk-taker likes changing things up and going for the impossible.
However, for many of us our fallback communication plan will be the one our parents laid out for us.
With Valentines Day coming upon us, I’ve updated this earlier post to make it fifteen needed questions you need to ask you and your dating relationship.When I was dating I remember constantly being smothered with that giant question like a bloated bear was sitting on my head, refusing to move. To magically stumble upon like finding the gold at the end of a rainbow that is being carried by a unicorn with leprechaun jockey.But how are you supposed to know which one is the right one?Thus my career path has been anything but straight-forward, which could drive any sane person crazy.Thankfully, my wife has been very supportive because she knew this was the way I was wired from the beginning and it aligns with her core beliefs, as she enjoys change and pursuing things off the beaten path.() And it’s hard to un-wire 18 years of being shown how to talk and listen to others in family situations.Sure we’re not our parents and we can work to change our communication habits.I’d describe core values as beliefs that are fundamental to how you are wired, guiding your actions, thoughts, plans, and purpose on this earth.We all have values that direct us and help us make decisions – problem is most of us have never articulated what those values are.Take me for example, one of my core values is authenticity.I struggle being in a job, friendship, situations, etc.