Dating your wife again
Set some ground rules to make it easy: Maybe it's that you don't discuss the kids on date nights or after they've gone to bed during the week.Your entire family will be better off if you take some "just the two of us" time to talk about the grownup stuff."Just like we can act courageously when we're afraid, we can act lovingly and focus on the positive when we're feeling...well, not quite that way," she says.Today, act like you're madly in love: hug him, kiss him, call him just to say hello, send a loving text.Yes, after your long day of hurtling work obstacles and wrangling kids, acting sweet and loving might sound as appealing as a jury duty summons, but when you let yourself off the hook every night, your relationship suffers.Don't wait until the spirit genuinely moves you to warm your partner's heart, Lerner says.
"The best way to love your partner is to work on yourself," Lerner says. Taking time to do a daily check-in when you really talk will remind you that you're partners in love, not just in the business of running a household. "Spend five minutes simply observing him when he doesn't know you're watching and mentally check off ten things you love about him—the sweet way that he talks to your baby as he's feeding her breakfast, how he sings to himself while he's getting ready for work, the quirky way that he puts potato chips inside his sandwich, the boyish way he bites his knuckles when he's watching a game.
Spend a Sunday afternoon hiking a nearby park, try a walk after dinner three times this week, or investigate active vacations you might try.
Stop worrying that "the feeling is gone" and remember that even the best marriages get stuck sometimes, and if you're focused on what's wrong instead of bringing your best self to your marriage, that's a good recipe for failure.
It may sound counterintuitive, but one of the best ways to increase the passion within your relationship may be to find new ways to develop yourself outside of it. Taking care of yourself will replenish you, making you more receptive to love in your life.
"You can't feel love for someone else if you're feeling crappy about your own life," says Weiner-Davis. Related: 5 relationship warning signs couples should never ignore Dozens of studies have found that one of the best ways to bust a rut is by injecting some novelty into your usual routine.